You can just call me Zachariah...

It's days like today that I realize there is nothing else in the world I would rather be doing then taking care of sick people...

and believe this or not... there is nothing else I would rather do then take care of sick kids.

Yes... I said kids.

And it's days like today that I realize that God has created me, in my inner most places to do this work.
Let me tell you a little bit about my day.

I got to go to the Oncology/ Hematology floor at the Children's hospital. Oncology floors in case you don't know are for cancer patients. Not just patients, they are children. Children with cancer. Cancer is devastating period... but cancer in children is more devastating then you can imagine. I was just writing an email and was saying that it hurts my heart in a way that nothing else does.

My first patient was a 12 year old boy that reminded me of Brock... which made me love him instantly. He was in such awful pain... but every time we went to move him or position him he would reach up and put his hand on our backs or elbows and tap his hand real fast just so you knew he liked you. It touched me in a deep way. We got to play xbox... baseball... I chose to be the Cubs (because of our talk Kelly Belly)... I got 2 homeruns!!!!!! I lost... but still... it was a beautiful game. The best part about this kid was that he became an uncle (yes, at 12) a few days ago and his family brought in his new nephew. Watching him hold this little life and smile like life was everything that it was meant to be for him forced me to leave the room before anyone saw me tearing.

Then I went into the other patient I had... a 4 year old... who had lots of crazy little siblings that welcomed me with hugs and kisses and embraces around the legs like they had known me for years. The patient... in his cute cute tigger scrubs wanted me to hold him... and the first thing he did was take my badge and put it on himself... and when he learned to say my name he decided that he wanted to be Ashley... and that I was to be Zachariah. Then he took my stethoscope from around my neck... put it in his ears and said "we need to listen to the hearts" and so we listened to the hearts... and after his assessment he took the stethoscope out of his ears and wrapped it around his neck. He was the nurse now... I was the patient.... and what a fine nurse he was.
My soul just cried out for these children... and the nurses told me that there is no way to not know God on a floor like that... and thats what I love. Jesus is there... Jesus is them... and in the same way at the same time I am Jesus to them. At the end of life... and in the deep illness and raw pain... God there... God is alive... and God is making himself known to the patients, the families, the nurses, and anyone else who spent 2 seconds on that floor.

The nurse told me "we walk with the angels here"... I know what she means...

Thats one place to see God alive.

its overwhelming.