Pray for peace... act for peace

Along with being sick and tired of Christmas... I have been sick and tired of churches for awhile now.

Yesterday, the Columbus Mennonite church though really helped to snap me back into a more loving and peaceful mindset when it comes to churches. The last church service I went to, at a church I won't name, we heard about the mysteries of santa and the mystery of Christmas... keeping Jesus at the center of Christmas. Typical sermon, unfortunately, for this time of year. Hearing that message just added to my current annoyance of the american church who ignores the problems of the city and the world around them.

Well then yesterday... I heard the best message from the alter that I have ever heard in any church anywhere. They spoke of the mass slaughter in Gaza... the women telling of the hellish acts was in tears over it, confessing to the body that she has had violent thoughts towards those doing the slaughtering, tearfully asking us to pray the lords prayer with her, then had us meet her in the lobby to sign a petition begging for this mass murder to be stopped. They also spoke of the Matthew 25 way of meeting Jesus. A man spoke of meeting Jesus last week through a little boy with his shoes on the wrong feet from the west side of the city. Then again meeting Jesus through a little girl overseas affected with AIDS.

It really got me thinking... and comparing the last two messages I heard from two very different churches. I was sick to my stomach at the thought that a majority of churches in this country are speaking of the mysteries of santa from the pulpit and a minority of churches are speaking of the shit that really matters.

What matters is that there is unrest and violence all around us. Hundreds losing their lives in a mass slaughter in Gaza. Children being murdered by our government in Iraq. Innocent men being accused of being terrorists and in result being tortured to the point of insanity or even worse, death. My own friends in this very city sleeping outside in the freezing cold, being ignored by most of the city.

What doesn't matter is the mystery of santa... the mystery of Christmas... or building your church bigger.

Harsh, maybe. But seriously? Stop ignoring the horror of this world going on all around us. If you go to church every week and don't hear about what issues are currently ruining the city or the world you live in and what you can be doing to make a difference beyond writing a check then you should ask yourself what you are doing.

These two hands can only do so much.
"This is a disaster.... where the fuck are the rescue workers?"

Goodbye Christmas... at last

Kelly and I cleaned the apt today like mad women... in doing so we ripped down all the christmas decorations and it feels good to be back to normal.

Dad was in the hosptial over Christmas this year... so it was not a special christmas by any means and I am just glad it is all over. The Young and Reitz families were very good to me this year and I felt welcomed and loved like they were my own family. I even got a bottle of Baileys from kellys mom, along with a bunch of other presents from that family. It was lovely.

This year I was most thankful for unconventional family... something Jesus figured out long ago that I am just discovering... (one of the many things).

What a Christmas

Right now I feel like there is so much turbulence and hostility and violence and anger in my life... in my heart... and in my mind. It is really disheartening and terribly disturbing.

It feels really foreign and not feeling peace can be really ugly.

I wonder if, the more I let PEACE rule and reign in my heart, in my body, in my mind and in my spirit... I will react differently.

The more I let peace rule me the less I will react and the less I will fight and the less I will anger when I'm feeling hurt.

Feeling anger is an ugly ugly thing. But like my dear friend Thich says... acknowledge your anger. Let it know that you know it is there... that you see it... that you feel it. And let it know that you are going to take good care of it and nurture it. I wonder what made that man angry and even more how he thought to be so gentle to his anger. Gentleness is definitely not on my mind when I'm mad.

Maybe that is the problem. Maybe it should be.

Peace meditation, here I come.

In the words of my sister,

"Merry fucking Christmas"

Ten-i-see

Lets back track... yet again...

Steph and I took an emergency trip down to Knoxville TN to visit Lisa during a time in need. We decided to go on Thursday night and Friday morning we rented a car and hit the road. We had a lovely 6 hour drive together... to talk, to sing, to cry, to laugh, to enjoy being in each others presence.

We took Buddah with us... rubbed his belly... prayed to Jesus for a safe trip and for a place to stay and we were off with only the plan to go take care of Lisa. It was a good time to meditate on mysterious things like life and death and suffering and grieving. Still none of which I understand fully. Maybe we are not supossed to fully understand things like that. Things that are not of this world. Spiritual and super natural things. Maybe that is how God keeps us close, by not revealing to us everything we want to know. Maybe not. Just a lot of things were thought about. Thinking about friendship, love, community, and solidarity. When one of us suffer... we all should suffer if we are truly connected in a deep with with each other. The presence of friends in tough times is irreplaceable. Even if all you do is sit and stare at the floor. It does more help than we know.

We made it to Lisa. We got to sit with her and hold her and hug her and cry with her and remember with her and it was a holy and beautiful thing.

Time was ticking and we still didn't know where we were sleeping. I had emailed a few churches in the area the night before and asked for some family hospitality and as expected, got no responses. It's pretty shitty that you can't even count on parts of the body of Christ to put you up for a few nights when in need but you can definately count on couchsurfing.com. We ended up couch surfing with a wonderful girl and her two roommates. We hit the town of Knoxville and got a bite to eat and some drinks at a lovely place called Urban Bar. We met some interesting friends, and hung out with our cool server Travis. We continued to walk around and even found a cereal bar!

We had a good night sleeping with our new stranger friends and really enjoyed the rest of our time in TN. I captured one shot of buddah and Yuengling... i'll leave you with that...

"live your life"

Lets back track...

Two weekends ago I took a road trip out to Minneapolis with Heather T.G., Brian G., Kelly, and Emily. The girls and I were invited to go out there with the T.G.'s beacuase Heather had to speak in the MLA conference so they hooked her up in the Marriott downtown Minneapolis.
We headed out Thursday night after work and drove 12 hours through the night and arrived promptly at 6 am or something crazy. Luckily the hotel let us check in a bit early because we were about to sleep in the lobby. Heather went to work and we all crashed for a few hours. When we woke up we went in search of some lunch which led us to walk out to the ghetto and eat at a mexican place which was good at the time, and regretted later. I am not sure what we did the rest of the day except for some exploring and some sleeping and some laughing.
Kelly and I headed out about midnight for some midnight ice cream and after searching a few blocks in each direction we were only able to find some creepy men at a bar which we left and O' Dons.

O' Dons was the start of the rest of the adventures of the trip. Odons is an Irish Pub, they had a live scottish band playing and we met a lovely couple named Will and Erica who shared their table with us, made us eat some of their fries, bought us some irish cider beer, and most importantly... taught us how to do an irish dance. They made us feel like celebrities and even had the band announcing we were visiting from Ohio. We danced the night away and even taught them some Ohio dancing. Which really looks like nothing else than freedom on a dance floor. We made some fellow bike friends and included them in on our dance circle. At the end of it... I was so pleased decided to go out for some late night ice cream.

On Saturday we decided to hunt for some mom and pop pizza and we ended up finding the best pizza in the mid west. The place was run by two amazing mob looking men and was just down right yummy. The day continued from there. We ran into a protest of at least 1000 people protesting for equal rights so we put on our loud voices and our femi fists and joined them. We marched all over downtown... chanting and clapping and it was a holy and powerful thing.
We met some people who recommended seeing a band later that night at a place called the Uptown Bar. We had it on our list to hit up the C C Club so decided to do both. CC Club was an old little hole in the wall and the home of some serious socialist shit back in the 60's. We headed to the Uptown Bar after and were amazed at the bands that played. Lucy Michelle and the Velvet Lapells were the highlight for us. Check them out.

We had a few drinks and danced back to the hotel for our final night in Minneapolis. Our cab driver was a lovely man from Africa and he was here working for his two children and I accidently gave him all the money I had on me and told him to take care of his children. Then we got out of the cab and I got laughed at for it. He needed it more than I did though... I'm sure of it.


The 12 hour car ride back was really nothing to write about... so at that... i'm off.

Meditations from Thich...

"In a time of anger or despair, even if we feel overwhelmed, our love is still there. Our capacity to communicate, to forgive, to be compassionate is still there. You have to believe this. We are more than our anger, we are more than our suffering. We must recognize that we do have within us the capacity to love, to understand, to be compassionate, always."

Foot-y pajamas and the greatest friends in the world...

The three day a week work schedule is exhausting but very sutiable for a spontaneous life style.

Thursday night after work... and after our community time... we rode our bikes up to a hotel downtown for our own version of a hotel party. Greg's job had a conference there and although he lives here... they gave him a room anyway. Luckily my friends love to share so we all got to enjoy a fancy hotel overlooking beautiful Columbus with three vacant full size beds and a fridge of beer (provided by us).

We took a mini vacation on Thursday, and like any good vacation in a hotel, we went exploring. Not only did we go exploring... but we went in our socks... just like we all did as kids. We hit every floor and even found some secret passage ways, other peoples half eaten room service, and the ice machine (a personal favorite).

We got to jump on the beds, have a dance party, fight each other with pillows, and rock out with Greg's co worker and his guitar, all lay in one bed to talk laugh and snuggle, and eat free cookies. It was the best vacation i'd ever been on.

Kelly and I closed up shop the next morning and rode back in the rain. She treated me to some breakfast at Tim's and we sat inside talking of sisterhood (real and adopted sisters) and the freedom and acceptance of that kind of relationship. We talked of the value of our friendships with our moms... which can be deeper than any other human relationship... it left me feeling like we have so little time to enjoy the family we have.

Only your sisters can see you drunk, dancing in your underwear and a t shirt in a foreign country to the sound of your own awful voice to an equally awful song and not change the way they look or feel about you. THAT is sisterhood.

Friday was pretty productive... and we had a special treat for dinner with Kelly's family and pizza! I love spending time with other families especially when they remind me of my own. We then met up with the boys and headed to the monster house for Blake's show, met some new friends, saw some old and wonderful friends (kyle and paul!)

Now it is saturday night and i am laying on the couch watching center stage alone in my foot-y one piece pajamas that kelly and i picked up today. I am starting to wonder if i am becoming an old lady because I don't feel like doing anything on Saturday nights... but I am in footy pj's so probably not.

We are the insurgents...

"We are building up a new world
Do not sit idly by
Do not remain neutral
Do not rely on this broadcast alone
We are only as strong as our signal
There is a war going on for your mind
If you are thinking you are winning
Resistance is victory
Defeat is impossible
Your weapons are already in hand
Reach within you and find the means by which to gain your freedom
Fight with tools
Your fate and that of everyone you know depends on it"

Goblins, gremlins, and cows on bikes...

Halloween was... in one word... fun!

I picked Jy up from work and we went searching for a costume for him... and of course had success at VOA.

We went back to the boys place to find Greg getting into costume as an old man... and that he was. We cooked up some lovely spinach, tomato, and feta pasta, passed out candy to all the little Franklinton trick or treaters, and watched the Halloween episode of The Simpsons.

Jy went off to party and Greg and I headed to Clintonville to make some pumpkin cookies and get 80's Emily ready for fun. (Pictures coming soon...)
So 80's Emily, Old man Greg, and Ashley Cow jumped on our bikes and headed for the short north. We got lots of MOO's on the way and saw all the awesome costumes in the short north. We hit up a bar and then went to Greg's co workers house to hang out.

Shortly after emily and I decided to hit up another friends party... and what a party it was. I am not sure there has ever been a greater or longer dance party than last nights. Dancing with Pologamist wife Melissa, grandma Brad, ghetto bumble bee JPo, and all the other random people was pretty incredible. The "dance table" and the back porch ledges/benches served as great stages for our moves.

Pictures are to come... I can't stop laughing.

Emily and I had a chilly and unsable bike ride home from 12th... baked some more pumpkin cookies... made some necessary 2am phone calls to our lovely roommate in Chicago... and maybe a lot of other people. Emily and I went to bed in my bed as we are still uneasy about sleeping alone... and luckily Carl came over and fell asleep in our bathroom. haha.

o what a night...

in other news, Aubi is coming today to visit Steph and I!!!!!!

photo op

I took myself out on a date yesterday... to go see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. You can laugh, but I wanted to see the movie that was filmed right in this picture below which is right where we were! It brought back some lovely memories.

Some laughter about the election...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxlwYP0HNdc&feature=related

I can't wait for the election to be done with. I'm sick of the poisonous propaganda... this video however, is charming.

Universal Restoration

Community time tonight proved to be healing, once again. We talked about universal restoration and what it looks like, whether it is a sudden thing or a gradual thing... how it can affect us now... if we can, by doing good, help to bring restoration now. Good stuff.

The girls and I had a little scare last night that left us not wanting to sleep in our house. So the first thing we did was call Greg and I shared with him our need for males in the house and almost without hesitation the three boys were on our front porch, sleeping bags in hands, ready to slumber with us.

That right there my friends, is family. We got some ice cream, curled up on the couch together, popped in Blank Check, remembered that it was better when we were kids, felt safe together, and just enjoyed being in each others presence.

Community

The community I am apart of is just one of a kind... and I am reminded of that daily.

Thursday at our gathering was deeply encouraging and the conversation was so organic that it left me thanking the Lord for bringing these sweet sweet people into my life.

Then today again, enjoying the sabbath with them. Being at street church with them, feeding hungry bellys with them, building relations with the street population of Columbus. And whats more... visiting the new freedom garden for the last time this season ... doing our laundry... riding our bikes to whole foods, then to the community market... making dinner thanks to gregs new debit card... laughing... dancing... and just being in their presence. It's refresing... and life saving really.

We have been documenting our lives via a polaroid camera and putting the pictures up on our living room wall in a tetris shape design but pictures hardly do these times justice... I sometimes just wish I could pause time and really soak up these moments... really soak up these people I'm around... its something I just don't know how to value more than I already do. Time is moving too quick. Way
way
too
quick.

dolla grilled cheese and lots ID's...

Monday served to be very enjoyable... not to mention a blast from the past.

We went to Bodega for Monday night dolla dolla grilled cheese, as usual, this time the company was a little bit different... and really great.

Em, Kelly, Jonny, Alan, JoeK, MattH, MattL, Jpo, Brad and Melissa, etc. It was so much fun that we decided the party should be continuted with pumpkin carving and front porch conversation. So Kelly and I picked up some pumpkins from the clintonville community market... (which is awesome) and headed back to the house to meet Robby, Andrew S, and Josh Scott to carve these awesome pumpkins. It was a huge success and the rewards are sitting on our front porch right now...

The beauty of being with old friends... breathing in the crisp fall air... and loving life is no small thing...

more wise thoughts from thich...

"wherever we are, any time, we have the capacity to enjoy the sunshine, the presence of each other, even the sensation of our breathing."

The presence of each other is a mighty thing. I'm here at Stauf's with Kelly and Em on the way. The sun is shining, the temperature outside is perfect, the pumpkin chai is delicious, the company is genuine, the world is busy, the Lord woke me up today, The Great Lake Swimmers are playing in my ears, and i feel peace... what not to smile about?


"if in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we but everyone will profit from it. This is the most basic kind of peace work."

the world is falling apart but i feel an ounce of hope... (thank you)

The ragamuffin lifestyle...

This weekend was quality. Since I don't have a camera anymore, I'm attempting to document more in writing so that I have something to remember these beautiful times with beautiful people that make me so thankful for the life I have.

Friday after work I had 8 of my nurse friends over to the new place for a fall dip party. We had some spiced rum apple cider which is better cold if you ever have the option. My lovely roommate Kelly hosted this little get together with me and dealt wonderfully with all the nurse talk. Everyone brought a different dip to share and it was a huge success. Everyone brought something different and it was all so good! We hung out for a bit then headed off to a haunted house. I got chased by the chain saw man which left me running out of the haunted house and through the parking lot. I don't think haunted houses are for me...

After the haunted house, Steph and I went back to my place and had an unplanned dance party with Kelly, Em, and Becky to an artist we wish not to relase to the general public. It is a total femi-fisting song which leaves you feeling proud to be a woman and shouting "girl power". It might have been one of the best dance parties I have ever experienced.

Saturday, bright and early, was Pumpkin Fest Bike Trip 08! Due to illness, bacheolor parties, and lovedrug concerts it ended up just being Greg, Jy, Josh, and I. We biked down to circleville to experience the famous pumpkin show and had a ton of fun. We ate lots of festival food and pumpking flavored everything, saw some good bands, ran into good friends, and spent some time with Jy's family. We finally headed back... it took over two hours due to tiredness, wind, and sore legs. It felt good to be done with that bike ride.

We went back to my house and enjoyed some leftover dip with Kelly, dropped josh off, and greg jy and i hit up oreillys to watch the Red Sox game. Then met up with Nicky G et all and I realized how much I miss him being around.

Now it's the sabbath and I had a great morning with Kelly doing dishes, making lunch together, and talking about life. It will never get old. Now I'm at my parents and should be spending time with them... so on that note... live free or die.

Heavy times...

"Life is both dreadful and wonderful."

Thich Nhat Hanh

That is exactly the way I feel after today. Greg, Jy, and I went to the Columbus Mennonite Church tonight to hear an Iraqi veteran and an American veteran speak about the current state of the war, their opinions, and the truth that we are never told about Iraq.

It's not only dreadful that we have the government that we do... but even more dreadful is the fact that our media isn't even truthful about the events that are occuring.

It was good to be with the boys and good to be made aware, even if in a minimal way.

We came home and fixed some dinner and watched the final presidential debate, and once again all I could do was turn my palms to the sky and ask our Father for an intervention. Some peace. Some truth. Anything, really. The debate was pretty digusting to say the least and I am ready for some freedom from all the lies that are being drilled into our heads.

Then we watched the 11pm news... 10 murders in Columbus in 10 days they said...

once again, palms up,
Father? Please? Quickly?

Dreadful... a lot. Wonderful... a lot.

What is truly wonderful is the feeling of safety from having two of your dearest friends at your side... all of us feeling the pain of our seperation from truth and peace... realizing our need to pray, pray, pray for this world.

wickywicky wilderness 08!

Life has been crazy busy and crazy fun and I am just now finding the time to sit down and try to remember all the adventures I have been on since Labor Day...

My friends and I decided to take a very last minute camping trip on Labor Day down to Hocking Hills... the car ride with Emily, Jy, and Greg might have been the highlight of the trip. Greg is learning how to drive in the city of Columbus (I can't imagine Boston is much different), and it's an adventure in itself. We took a couple of wrong turns, drove up a one way street with four lanes of oncoming traffic, cruised up on sidewalks, and I am sure hit a few people before we made it down to hocking.

We arrived after dark to our hike in campsite... armed with beer, burgers, hotdogs, spicy mustard, cinnamon rolls, and our 10 person mash style tent. It was beautiful. Except we didn't know what our site number was, couldn't check in becuase it was closed, and didn't have cell phone service to communicate with Jonny and Kelly on their way. Who knows how we managed but we did. The girls started on the tent... the boys worked on the fire... and in no time we were up and running. When Kelly and Jonny finally found us we were really ready to party. We cooked up some dinner and enjoyed the peace, community, stillness, and beauty of the hocking hills.

We fit snugly into our ten man tent and even managed to play a few rounds of steam roller. The morning was a good one... we cooked out and ate some more hotdogs and hamburgers for breakfast (yuck). Eventually we set out to do some hiking in the old mans cave...

We managed to lose emily to the old man which turned into an adventure inside an adventure. we hit up some awesome soft serve ice cream on the way out of hocking and made it back to columbus a happy group of people! While we were down in hocking we did some dreaming out loud together... somehow the dreaming out loud led us to deciding to start a week long experiment of living in the same quarters. haha. so that we did. Kel, Em, and I packed out belongings for one week... and set out.

3 boys... 3 girls...

joining forces for a week long slumber in Franklinton Ohio, conquering the streets one dance party at a time...

Interested? I bet you are. The Labor Day camping trip I took with my community family inspired a week long experiment that we are in the midst of.

I'll leave it at that until I can collect my thoughts and pictures because I need to get in the shower so I can enjoy Houndogs with my new roommates...

It's Buckeye time...

... and that means fun!

I'm going to start a revolution from my bed...

I have recently been thinking how great it would be if I could pause at age 23 and stay there for the rest of my life.





Life has been so fun and so enjoyable this summer. It has been adventure after adventure this summer with my friends and I can't get over how fun I think life is.





We've been learning what it means to live out the gospel in out own ways and together. We may have a different way of doing it, we may have different defintions of community, church, and communion... but that is why life has been so enjoyable. Living out the gospel with your friends and with the least of these has me so thankful that my life is what it is. I am so thankful that my life includes the people it does...





Friday night we went down to Shakesphere in the park... emily and I rode our bikes down... picked up some wine at the local Kroger... and met up with Jonny, Jonathan, Kelly, Greg and the others for the play. We didn't get very far before a storm hit, really bad, so we took cover under a tree. We played around for a bit... attempting to build shelter. We lost a few members here and there and before I knew it, Kelly, Jonny, Jonathan and I were playing in the pouring rain. We had a dance party... a cartwheel contest... we ran... we spun... we got up on the stage and performed... and felt extreme joy in laughter.





We finally decided to take shelter in a nearby building where we considered spending the night at...

Once the storms settled down we decided to head back... thankfully the boys rode emily and i's bikes back to f-ton.

The only logical thing to do after a night like that was to head back to the boys and have a dance party... wet... and that we did. It may have been one of the best dance parties of all times. We eventaully all ended up on the floor (after our circle/ hand holding dance) where we then laid for a hour or two talking.

The safeness of love, acceptance, laughter, and fun in these friendships is refreshing. It's great to have friends who can be weird with you...

Triathlete in completion...

The much awaited triathlon finally arrived... and I did it! It was extremely hard... but I am thankful for the wonderful team that I had to do it with...

Us swimmers just before the race...My partner in crime... and my strength the entire day

My wonderful team of friends! It was 90 degrees by the time we started the 14 mile bike... which made it pretty miserable but we finsished it and that was the goal!

I took a week off... but now its back on for more training for our tri in October!

woot woot.

Triathletesforlife.

Reminders...

I remembered last Wednesday night why I love my life so much at times...

Hearing the honest and passionate words of my homeless friends brings laughter to my soul and tears from the love I have for them...

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only 'forgotten' son..."

"I took myself to the hospital because I couldn't breathe and they incubated (meaning intubated) me!"

"Dear God, I pray that you all in this circle survive forever."

They say these prayers/ words with such sincerity, confidence, and love and I am reminded to give thanks that this has become part of my life... and an even bigger part of my prayers.

Some nights are really heavy and others are light and our laughter brings freedom and while both are good feelings in one sense or another, the nights of laughter provoking freedom and equality are spiritual cleansing for me.

Laughter, true and genuine laughter, shows no differences. When you get to laugh with people it doesn't matter if you are homeless, dirty, and belligerent sitting on railroad tracks or if you rich, oppressive, and clinging to your life. Laughter knocks down all predisposed identities and puts everyone on the same level.

Laughter put me sitting on railroad tracks in the dark... homeless, dirty, and belligerent ... loving life, God, and my brothers... and experiencing fullness like I never have before. There was not another thought in my mind except for being perfectly content and perfectly purposeful.

A stunningly holy moment...

From my dear friend Kelly...

Last Monday I had a "Monday" and I was blessed to have spent that night with my beautiful Jezreel friends and Kelly put into perfect words how the night went...

Mondays
August 12, 2008, 9:02 am
As long as there exist depressing Mondays, here’s to hoping there always also exists spontaneous after-parties (in pursuit of sanity and laughter) with cheap wine, baked-zucchini with Parmesan, debates on absolute truth, Jane Austen action figures, and interviews with wives on behalf of the women terrified of marriage (facetiously considering polygamy…)

Cheap wine, laughter, truth, and awesome friends ARE all you need to turn a Monday right around...

more summer fun...

Kesia and I at the Clippers game for Mike's birthday!

Mohican camping trip 2008... in the mud.

Half of my triathlon team... the northern T.I.T.'s (triathletes in training)
\ Julie and Caleb got married!

By beloved bike... from my beloved Laura and Adam

No Planet... No Party

Life has been fun lately... different. Yet fun.

I started my new job as a Critical Care Nurse for Ohio Health this past Monday and that has been an adventure. It is going to make me really smart and really awesome and I am excited for that. Lot's of work to do before I can start saving lives... just when I thought the learning was done... its back.

I guess that is one of the many good things about being a nurse... you never stop learning. There is always more to learn and more to learn and more to learn...

This is going to be so good.

I am also training for a triathlon on August 24th with seven really fun friends... we started a blog about our journey... http://tittriathletesintraining.blogspot.com/

Check it out and leave us some encouragement!

Summer 08!

Best advice all week...

It's hurts to be strong.

Thanks l.a.y.

It is finished!

The good news is...



is that I GRADUATED college!!!!!

It's so strange to say that...

"If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing." (1 Cor 13:3)

Without love... we got nothing.

Freedom

Your bitterness is binding you...

And it is leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

Let
it
go.

Life...

... is so so rich.

i often feel like the wealthiest person alive...